9 Ways to Commit Social Media Blasphemy

1. Writing a post about social media blasphemy, yup, that’s blasphemy alright.

2. Assuming we [people] want to hear about what your company has to say.  Do you really think the people following you on Twitter and Liking you on Facebook want to hear about your [insert generic company information] IE: Company newsletter, services you offer, latest award you won, how successful last month was, how insanely busy you are.  More importantly if you’re fairly new to Twitter or Facebook, how arrogant are you to assume we want to hear about your company?  Earn our permission first, then we’ll gladly listen to what you have to say.

I shouldn’t have to say this but I still see this from time to time.  We get it you want us to read it, but what you don’t know, IS THAT WHEN YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE YELLING!  See, I bet you said the last part of that sentence louder in your head.

3.5.  Your “LOL” in Tweets percentage should remain roughly around 0%.  If it’s anywhere above 0% it’s considered blasphemous.

4.  If you ever Tweet yourself in third person you really look like a horses Pa-toot.

5.  If you ever Tweet anything TMZ or anything TMZ related.  If you do this I instantly think you appreciate celebrities and gossip magazines more than well, you know, the real world of information and valuable content.

6.  If your bio is written in third person you really look like a horses Pa-toot (unless you Tweet on behalf of an organization, but even then it’s nice to put a name to a company, the more personal the better).

7.  Three or more consecutive updates, settle down ya over achiever.  Just stop already, you’re hogging my timeline.  Blasphemous for sure.  Most news and media company do this.  I know it’s “easy” to set automatic Tweets so you get them all out there at precisely the right time, but really, your followers don’t appreciate the rapid-fire Tweetin’.  Slow down.

8.  Bragging in any fashion makes you look like a horses ass.  Accomplishments are perfectly fine but it you have to mention your golf clubs not fitting in your new BMW, “how many holidays you’re taking this year”, not using Foursquare at all but to check-in to The Keg, basically if you’re trying to tell the world you’re making more money, just don’t do it, it’ll make you seem more humble (unless you already are humble, then you probably don’t tweet about every new Apple product you buy).  It’s never what you say, it’s the tone and context.

 9.  Leaving long comments.  Ugggg, you’re the worst, person who leaves long comments.  If you can’t make your point in a paragraph or Tweet or two, you need to think your idea through better.  How will you be able to get your point across in the future when you have to write a fricken novel every time you come up with an idea?  Making a simple idea complex is easy, making a complex idea simple to understand is hard.  If you have a choice, choose the later.

Now please tell me the exceptions to the rule.  Tell me where these have worked, or haven’t.  What do YOU think is the worst crime to commit in social media?

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